♪ Let me reach, let me beach On the shores of Tripoli ♪
♪ Let me sail, let me sail ♪
How do you feel?
Happy.
Sign here.
Hmm?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
♪ Sail away, sail away ♪
♪ Sail away, sail away, sail away ♪
♪ From Bissau to Palau In the shade of Avalon ♪
♪ From Fiji to Tiree and the... ♪
Oh, hey. Uh, I'm missing my wedding ring.
Ah, yes.
Uh, sorry.
You feel good? Yes?
I feel fantastic.
- Okay. - Okay.
Enough chitchat.
So...
drink lots of water.
- Uh-huh. Okay. - Important.
- Hydrate. Flush system. - Okay.
No smoking, no drinking, no drug.
No hanky-panky.
- Nothing. Twenty-four hours. - Okay.
- Eat yogurt. - Yogurt?
Probiotic. Repopulates the gut.
Oh.
- Okay. - Also...
very important.
First time after you use the toilet,
don't look.
Hmm.
Wow.
- Hello? - Miles, are you coming in?
Pool was looking for you all morning.
Oh, hey, Kaylyn.
Yeah. Tell her...
Tell her that I'm feeling, um...
I don't know, it's not sick so much, it's just...
more like strange.
Okay. Well, I think you might wanna tell her that yours...
Oh, my God.
What the...
Oh.
Oh!
Wow.
Hey.
What the fuck are you doing in my corn?
Hi.
Wow.
So, what do you grow here?
- Corn, apples. - Ah.
- Squash up the hill. - Hmm.
Soybeans is the only damn thing that pays.
Oh, I love soybeans.
What kind of dumb shit thing is that to say? Nobody loves soybeans.
So, wow, like, is this all organic?
Hell yeah.
Until the beetles come, and then I spray the shit out of the whole lot.
Hey. Will you show me how to pick?
What do I owe you, Ray?
Well, Miles, you got a dollar's worth of produce,
and in three hours,
you did a dollar's worth of picking.
Call it even.
Thank you, Ray.
- Thanks. - Yeah.
Hey, Kaylyn.
- For you. I like those stripes. - Miles.
W... Wait.
All right, I've talked to Oculus...
Hey, anyone wants squash, see me after.
- Thanks for joining us, Miles. - Sorry, I'm late.
I didn't mean to interrupt. Sorry, please. Yeah.
So...
I've talked to Oculus.
They can custom-make us a digital environment
for the actual pitch presentation.
I've done a cost breakdown on page ten.
Now, if you look at the numbers, you'll see...
Actually, you know what? I have a question.
Yes, Miles.
Why do we even give a shit about Hillston?
I mean...
we're sitting here,
in this hermetically sealed coffin of a conference room,
spending our precious minutes here on this planet
to sell some cellular infrastructure company,
when we could be out living, and breathing, and fucking,
and dreaming.
So why?
Why do we give a shit?
And if we don't give a shit, why should anyone else?
I mean, what is Hillston to us?
What do you think it is, Miles?
Well, they're a family-owned regional telecom.
Right? I mean, they're as Mom-and-Pop as a telecom can be.
Heck, their CEO could be my grandpa. Let's use it.
- What do you propose? - I don't know.
Okay. Great. Um...
You don't have a proposal?
No.
I don't. I have...
I don't. Let's come up with one together.
Oh, great.
Let's schedule a brainstorm sesh, huh?
But for now, why don't we get back to page ten?
Yes, great. Let's schedule inspiration.
Get on that, Dan.
Everyone else, close your eyes.
Hillston.
Mmm.
Hillston.
Cellular infrastructure.
I feel...
connection.
Neighbor to neighbor.
Friend to friend.
Father to daughter.
Lover to lover.
Me...
to you.
Hi.
The thrill you feel from... from knowing a...
truly special and unique person on this planet
and knowing that they know you,
that thrill...
and comfort.
Hillston,
your neighbor and friend.
We know you.
I mean that's who they are, right?
Locals would love it,
national telecoms can't beat us on it.
Plus, it's real.
God! I tell you, it's so nice not to feel full of shit for once.
Hey, what the fuck, dude?
That spa rec, thank you. Whole new me.
Miles.
Tell me more.
Hey.
What's all this?
Butternut squash and apple casserole coming right up.
I'm sorry, I can't eat another bite. It was lovely, though.
You look exquisite.
Thanks.
No, I mean it.
I can't get over how beautiful you are.
Thank you.
So, how was work?
My work? Why?
I just wanna know how your day was.
Um...
Yeah, why not? Uh, well, I had this client come in from the city
who wanted to,
like, rip up this perfectly good marble flooring
and replace it with the same marble flooring
that just had different veining on it, which was...
You're amazing. Do you know that?
Excuse me?
No, you came to this country all alone,
you put yourself through school, you started this company from nothing,
and now, you've got multimillion-dollar clients
coming from all over the world just to hire you.
It's really impressive.
And it's a good thing, too,
in the way my career's been going.
Okay, what's going on here?
- What do you mean? - I mean...
has all this got something to do with your appointment?
What appointment?
Oh, I don't know, Miles.
Just the one we've been fighting about for the last six months,
a little something called our family?
Oh. The fertility thing.
Yeah.
The fertility thing.
I'm sorry.
- No, don't... - No.
- Do you wanna talk about it? - No.
No, I don't want to talk about it because I can see
that you're trying to have a lovely evening,
and you don't want me to ruin it.
I'll go by the clinic tomorrow. I promise.
Why?
Because I wanna have a family with you.
Shit. Are you smelling me?
Yeah, can I smell my wife?
Oh, God. No.
I'll stop.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just...
It's just been a lot between us lately, and...
you know, I'm just tired. Can we talk about it in the morning?
Yeah. Of course.
I'm tired, too.
What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?
I don't know. The usual.
I was thinking, maybe we can have some breakfast, and then we...
Do you need any water from the fridge?
I think I need to hydrate.
Um, no, I'm... I'm just...
I'm just trying to sleep.
I'm putting this down.
Okay?
It's okay.
911, what's your emergency?
911, hello?
Four years old, co-op, pre-K.
I'm drinking lemonade, waiting for my mom to pick me up. What happened?
Cloning?
Ultrarapid cloning.
Plus micro-synaptic memory transfer.
Memory transfer.
Well, what were you planning on doing with the original me?
With the original me?
Ideally, we grind, then dissolve in an acid solution.
Then dissolve in an acid solution.
You were gonna murder me?!
We offer our sincere apologies.
Sincere apologies.
Are you gonna add anything to this, huh?
Are you gonna add anything to this? Are you just gonna sit there?
This... This isn't real.
Right? I mean...
This is some kind of trick.
No.
So, who's the clone?
You.
Pull over.
Don't kill me.
Get out.
I know karate.
Not unless you learned it since yesterday morning, you don't.
What are you...
Now you.
No.
You want me out of your life?
What?
Eight years old, appendicitis.
I still remember the ache, right here.
Yeah. Vacuumed out my intestine.
I still have the scar.
You don't.
Get a room!
I just realized I've never been laid.
I can come back when you're ready.
No, I'll take a... I want a burger and a Coke.
Oh, just a...
green tea and a fruit cup for me, please, Margaret.
Yeah, you know what?
Uh, I'll have that, too.
Margaret.
I've never even had a fruit cup.
What am I?
Hey. Come on.
I've never kissed my wife.
Wait, so, last night you and Kate didn't...
Are you crying?
Hey.
People can see.
Are you embarrassed?
Why don't you grow a pair, for Christ's sake?
Come on. Buck up.
Buck up?
Think about it.
You're the better me.
Oh, my God.
I'd give anything to be you.
In fact, I just did.
Fifty thousand to two guys in a massage parlor.
Well, thank you for that. And it's working out great so far.
All right. You know what? I'm sorry. But...
to be fair, when I did that, you were me. So, in a way, it's your fault, too.
Look, I...
This isn't easy for me either, all right?
I was made in a strip mall.
Well, so what?
I was born in New Jersey.
But you're here now,
and you can do anything, and you can go anywhere.
My God, if I had no job and no strings attached,
with suddenly some magical super me,
I think I'd be pretty goddamn psyched.
So what are you suggesting, that I travel? Take a little vacation?
- Maybe see the world? - Yes.
That's what I would do. My God.
I'd... I'd go anywhere in the world I wanted to go,
do anything I've ever wanted to do but can't. I still can't.
But guess who can?
And then what?
Uh...
Dude, I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm just trying to figure this out, too.
One thing first.
You owe us the rest of our 50,000.
Oh, sorry. You signed the waiver.
We looked into the agency responsible for cloning.
Right. Turns out, it's the FDA.
Funny, right?
And their number is listed right on their website.
I love how you just call them right up.
Go ahead, call 'em. Call 'em right up.
FDA Office of Criminal Investigations.
Hi.
I'd like to report a violation of Title 21 regarding human cloning.
- Mm-hmm. - Hold, please, I'll connect you.
Okay. Full refund.
Plus another 10,000.
For our trouble.
Fucking kidding?
No way we're giving you 10,000 fucking dollars.
What happened to your accent?
Oh. I guess we must be getting to them.
Dude, were you faking?
You rich assholes see what you want to see.
It's easier if customers don't think of us as people.
Right.
Just like the bodies in the forest aren't people?
We give our clients a better life.
They walk out of here with smiles on their faces.
- Tell it to them. - Yeah, tell it to them.
Hello, Biologics Evaluation and Enforcement.
Your very existence is a crime.
Who knows what they'd do to you?
- Try me. - Hello?
Hello?
Sixty thousand.
But then you go, and you never come back here again.
Kauai.
There's Madagascar.
Belize, Fiji.
Man, look at that.
Cabanas right on the water. They're on the water.
- Your half is 30,000. - What?
How is that fair?
I...
I took out 50,000.
What's Kate gonna say when she finds the account's short $20,000?
Yeah, somehow that doesn't feel like my problem.
All right, fine, but...
I need my wallet.
I'm gonna need ID to travel.
Fine.
And a credit card.
The one without the balance due.
Dude, you're cleaning me out.
You want to trade places?
Travel the world?
Get a cabana on the water?
Uber to the airport?
One of you Miles?
Okay, then.
Hey. Uh...
You forgot something.
The, uh...
Thanks.
- Hello? - Hey, how you doing?
Hey.
Uh, good.
And did you happen to pick up the dry cleaning yesterday?
No. Um...
I-I didn't.
Just 'cause I'm pretty sure you have the ticket.
I don't think so.
Right, well, can you check?
Oh, yeah. Sure. Uh...
Oh, here it is.
Yeah, sorry. I... I have it.
Okay, great. Well, would you mind swinging in to pick it up on your way home?
On my way home?
Yeah. Are you okay? Is there a problem?
No.
No problem.
Okay, thanks. Love you.
I love you, too.
Sir, uh...
new address.